The Endless Possibilites of a New Year. Plus, Ghosts.

Now that 2009 has mercifully shuffled off into History, Bolton Literati, we can turn our full attention to this promising New Year and the many powder days it...promises. While I await the arrival of my 2010 "Babies Dressed Like Sunflowers" calendar, we can all get mentally prepared for what should be some of the best skiing and riding of the season. If it helps, you can try to picture a unicorn skiing down a rainbow. I don't know why that would help, but it's your weird fantasy, not mine.

In this issue:
~ Weekend Projections: 2010, Snowiest Year Ever
~ Learn To Ski Or Ride For Free: I'm As Suspicious As You Are
~ Lodging Deals: The Smartest Decision Is To Never Leave 
~ Host Program: Join Team Bolton; Little To No Hazing

Weekend Projections: 2010, Snowiest Year Ever 
It will snow. It will snow early, and it will snow often. By the second week of January, there's a chance we'll be sick of snow falling from the sky. The forecast for the next 10 days or so is full of it: flurries, snow showers, steady snow. I'm as good at math as I am at writing concise and factually-accurate newsletters, so let me do a quick calculation: we have 10 days of snow; when it snows, it sometimes falls at 1" per hour; each day has 24 hours; so I estimate we'll have 240" of new snow in a week and a half. That sounds high to me, but you can't argue with science. The "professional weather people" are saying to expect a foot or two by early next week--but, apparently, they lack my grasp of statistics and my profound ability for self-delusion. In between snowflakes, we'll have mostly seasonable temperatures through the weekend, and manageable winds. Assuming this pace keeps up for the rest of the year, 2010 should be the snowiest year in Bolton history, with an annual total of 730 feet. I'm adding this to my application for the Nobel Prize in Mathematics. The rest of my entry was a drawing I made of Albert Einstein punching Isaac Newton in the face.

Factoring in the snow that's here and the snow that's to come, we will quite likely be enjoying our best conditions of the season this weekend. Expect surfaces on our groomed terrain to be excellent packed powder, with powder accumulating on top. Ungroomed trails will be a bit more variable, with deep powder, windblown powder, and some thin cover. We plan to run all 6 lifts all weekend long, beginning with the Vista Quad at 8:30am. Four of those lifts will spin until 8pm Friday and Saturday evening for night owls like me, who spend the daylight hours translating classic novels into epic heavy metal songs. We're currently at our peak trail count of the season, with 57 of our 64 trails open, but between the new snow and the series of menacing phone calls I've anonymously made to Ski Patrol recently, I think we may see a few more trails open up. I guess they might not technically be "anonymous", but at the end of the calls, I always clearly say "this is definitely not Justin". I have a gift for clever subterfuge. For daily updates, sign up for our snow report here. And if once a day just isn’t enough, you can now follow Bolton Valley on Facebook and Twitter.

Learn To Ski Or Ride For Free: I'm As Suspicious As You Are
Let's begin by acknowledging that I'm a suspicious person by nature. For years I made the mailman meet me in a vacant lot across town every day so he wouldn't find out where I live. And I'm especially skeptical of anything that's offered to me "free". Duty free shops? 90% sure that's an IRS sting. Fat free ice cream? Not even if I was on fire. The only "free" things I enjoy are Youtube clips of kittens falling asleep. Nevertheless, the Vermont Ski Areas Association has put together a ludicrous deal for beginners this winter, and I've decided to tell you because you're my only friends in the world and I think we should hang out more.

If you're not a skier or snowboarder or Nordic...person, and you'd like to be, then the VSAA is doing its best to lure you onto the snow this upcoming week. Their diabolical plot: make it free for you to learn a new snow sport. From Monday, January 4th, through Sunday the 10th, you can get rental gear, a limited lift ticket, and a lesson in exchange for exactly zero US Dollars--as long as you're a first-timer. I've been lured into a half-dozen cults by worse offers than that. There are a limited number of spots each day, so head over to the VSAA website, pick your date and mountain, and prepare to expand your snowy horizons. Should one taste not be enough, you can come back for a second lesson at Bolton Valley, and do it all over again for just $49. It's a great deal--but I'm still not convinced that this whole thing won't end with me waking up in a bathtub full of ice with some vital organ missing.

Lodging Deals: The Smartest Decision Is To Never Leave
I don't know if you pay much attention to our ski-and-stay options on the mountain, but they're starting to trouble me. As my long-time stalkers are well aware, I come up to Bolton from Burlington every morning, which gives me a chance to listen to my motivational tapes. But, here I am, looking at a $69 lodging package, and I don't know why I even bother leaving anymore. So I could ski until 8pm, cruise over to my slope-side hotel room, and not have to drive back to the studio apartment I sublet above a bowling alley and below another, louder bowling alley. How many other life decisions do I need to rethink? Maybe I shouldn't have modified my car's engine so it runs on melted gold bars. The price of doubloons has skyrocketed. And while we're on the topic of smart financial decisions, you might want to check out our Martin Luther King Weekend packages that start at $99 per person. It includes lift tickets, breakfast, and, my loyal friendship. I'd say more, but I think you get the idea, and I'm still a little dizzy from gold fumes. The appraisers say my lungs are 18-carat.

Host Program: Join Team Bolton; Little To No Hazing
I know this will come as a surprise to you all, but when I'm given something to write about, my standard protocol is to quickly skim it and then just make up a bunch of stuff. In my first-draft of this section, I mis-read "Host Program" and got very excited that we were finally taking my advice and turning this place into a spooky, haunted ski resort theme park. Turns out, "Project Overlook Hotel" is still not happening. What we have, instead, is a way for people to get more involved in the mountain this winter, and become, essentially, Bolton ambassadors. Terrifying people is neither expected nor encouraged.

As I understand it, the big idea behind the Mountain Host Program is to improve the overall experience our visitors have at Bolton Valley by launching waves of friendly, helpful people at them. I'll let you check out the details, here, but hosts basically will volunteer a handful of days this season to hang out around the mountain, welcome skiers and riders as they arrive, serve as a source of information or guidance, and be broadly helpful. Which means I could not be less qualified. In return, hosts get a season pass, various discounts on food, retail, and lift tickets, and a promise from me that I'll only put embarrassing photos of you in our Photo Gallery if you agree to it...or if I find it unusually funny. If this sounds like the kind of thing that you think you might be into, then e-mail Andrew Snow, which can't possibly be his real name. Well, to be fair, my full legal name is Justin B. Newsletter. Oddly, the "B" is short for Beaver Creek, Colorado. It was my grandfather's name.

That's all I have for our first newsletter of the new year, Bolton Aficionados. I wish you the best of luck with all of your resolutions--especially if they include spending as much time as possible on snowy mountains this winter. If you're curious about mine, it's the same as every year: develop the power of flight. Up until this point, I've been hopelessly flightless. But I've got a good feeling about 2010. This morning, I tried jumping as high as I could, and I think--just for a split second--I might have hovered. Happy New Year.

Justin