The Looming Ski Season and Other Wonders

So here we are again, Bolton heroes: one more week until we can finally release all that skiing and riding frustration we've built up over a long and hopelessly snow-less summer. You know, we wouldn't have to suffer through this horrible "off-season" if the government would just enact my simple plan to stop the Earth from orbiting the Sun. But that's the kind of legislative gridlock you get with a two-party system.

In this issue:
~ Weekend Projections
~ Ticket Deal #1: Happy Holidays skiing for $15
~ Ticket Deal #2: Powder Pass and the art of saving up to $81
~ Santa Ski Day
~ Facebook and Twitter: Please pay more attention to me 

Weekend Projections
While this weekend should be quite pleasant, with much cooler air then we've had and some snow showers possible, Bolton Valley is still preparing to not open until next weekend: Friday, the 11th of December, in the Year of the Ox, 2009. Therefore, projections for this weekend are as follows: we should have zero trails of top to bottom skiing on the mountain tomorrow and Sunday, with absolutely no lifts turning, beginning at *never* in the morning. Expect those numbers to rise dramatically in one week.

The medium-range forecast is looking favorable, with a good 10-day stretch of December-ish weather on the horizon. Highs aren't expected to top 40F again anytime soon, and the lows should be well within snow-making range. There are even whispers of snow falling from the sky. As the near-foot of snow that dropped last weekend proved, storms can sneak up on you sometimes--and it wouldn't take much to wipe away the memory of our warm November. I'm doing my part by filling the office with fumes from industrial-strength solvents. I don't even know what year it is. In any event, the weekend projections in next week's season-opening newsletter should be much more useful. And, as always, you can stay on top of things by signing up for our award-winning* daily snow report here.

Ticket Deal #1: Happy Holiday skiing for $15
Every December at Bolton Valley the same thing happens: the snow starts falling, the eggnog starts flowing, and before you know it...we're offering a week of $15 lift tickets. I think the eggnog might be spiked with hand sanitizer. Regardless of the reason, we've once again set aside December 14th thru 18th for skiing and riding at our Happy Holiday lift ticket rate of $15. As a noted fan of deals, I approve. This season, however, we've added a little twist, whereby your purchase of a lift ticket can help support the Vermont Children's Hospital. Here's how: if you buy your lift ticket in advance, $5 of each ticket you purchase will be donated to the Vermont Children’s Hospital. So, you get out on the snow while saving some money and doing something good for the community. It's a Festivus miracle. There's also a lodging deal that offers you your lift ticket plus a night of slope-side lodging for $49 per person, with part of that lodging price also being donated to Vermont Children's Hospital. You can find all the information on getting those lift tickets here, but remember: to support the Children's Hospital, the lift tickets must be purchased in advance, on or before December 11th. You can tell I didn't come up with this because it makes too much sense and is a genuinely good thing. My contribution would've been something like, "They should also get to pet a dragon".

Ticket Deal #2: Powder Pass and the art of saving up to $81
I think we can all agree that nothing captured the spirit of last year's catastrophic economic meltdown as well as our decision to call our multi-day discounted ticket package the "Great Bolton Valley Skier and Rider Bailout Plan." But now that it's almost 2010 and everything is basically awesome again, we needed a new theme. Using modern computer technology, a thesaurus, and several seasons of "Project Runway" on DVD, we've designed THE 3-word phrase that will soon be on everyone's lips from Paris to Milan: the Powder Pass. I'll give you a moment to stop gasping in awe. When you're ready, meet me at the next paragraph.

If you're familiar with how the Bailout Plan worked, then you're essentially an expert on the Powder Pass [it get's more captivating every time you see it, doesn't it?]. You have two options: the Snow Day, good for two lift tickets, or the Nor'easter, which gets you five. They're good any day all season, and you can use multiple tickets in one day if, unlike me, you have friends that will ski with you. They seem to think it's "weird" that I shout "Wheeeee!" at all times when I'm skiing, riding the lift, or eating lunch. But I will never apologize for being enthusiastic. All the relevant details can be found, read, and pondered here. But what we're all after is a smokin' deal, so the question remains: is this deal on fire? Well, it's Friday, I just had a can of Mountain Dew, and I'm shaking too much to do math, so all I can tell you is that with the Powder Pass, an adult can ski any day for less than $48, and a child, student, or senior can do the same for less than $34. If you're an adult, the Nor'easter will save you $81 off five days at the holiday rate. The youth Nor'easter saves $101 over that same period. If I saved that money, I'd be half-way to paying for the surgery that will finally give me what I've always wanted: one normal fist, and one giant fist made of lava and diamonds.

Santa Ski Day
Since the beginning of time, humans have longed to dress up like a portly immortal man-elf and go skiing. That's the consensus of every scholar I've ever interviewed in a dream I had this one time. But, in the modern era, Santa suits are only useful for confusing your pets or getting out of speeding tickets. No more. This year at Bolton Valley, if you dress up like Santa on December 13th, you ski for free. After weeks of focus-group testing, we've decided to call it "Santa Ski Day", and you can read more about it on our website here. The only fine print is this: it needs to be the real deal. You have to show up dressed like Santa--not dressed like "you" plus one Santa hat. So, if you're not wearing a Santa coat, a Santa hat, a beard, etc., then you're not Santa. Just to be safe, you should probably show up filled by the pure and infinite wonder of a child's joy. Santa-ing ain't easy.

Facebook and Twitter: Please pay more attention to me
So, apparently, nowadays everybody's doing the Facebook and the Twitter and the hip hop music. Back in my day, if we had something to tell somebody, we would carve it in to a rock and throw it through their window. The 1990s were just a simpler time, I guess. Anyway, if you can't wait for the Bolton Valley Newsletter to pop up in your inbox each week, and the Daily Snow Report doesn't take the edge off, then you can now keep up with Bolton Valley on Facebook and Twitter. Twitter is great if you enjoy the feel of the Newsletter, but would prefer your Bolton-related nonsense come in single-serving packages of 140-characters or less. Facebook is good if you'd like to check out and/or post visual stimulation like Bolton videos and photographs. Keep in mind that--even though it doesn't seem like it--almost all of the best action shots are actually of me. On camera, I often look like other people. Sometimes women.

As you can probably tell by the return of a subtle undertone of narcissistic attention-seeking in what you've read so far, I've finally wrested control of The Newsletter back from Josh. He had gone quite mad with power, you see, and I fortunately made it back from South America's now-famous "El Valle Bolton" just in time to resume sending you surprisingly uninformative weekly e-mails. I would've been here sooner, but there was a bit of a hang-up at the border. I still claim that those rare and valuable monkeys locked themselves in my trunk. They're diabolical. So, if you've felt the off-season newsletters were too concise and coherent, then you, my handsome friend, are in luck. But the good news: while it may seem, lately, that we're stuck in an in-between season that's not quite Fall, not quite ski season, we all know that Winter will settle in before we realize it. Winter's a bit of a diva, that way--always going for the dramatic entrance. Like that time it arrived by jumping the Grand Canyon on a flaming motorcycle. I think that was 2006.

Justin

*The Bolton Valley Daily Snow Report was the recipient of the "Awesomeness in Snow Reporting and Puppy Stewardship" Award for 2008-2009, as voted on by Baxter, my 4-month-old Golden Retriever.